Is Yelling the New Spanking?

I remember way back in my "What to Expect..." days when Luke was just a twinkle in my eye and a huge bulge in my stomach. I swore I would never bribe or threaten, I would never yell or spank. I think I held firm on one of those promises.

We have never been spankers. But boy, have I become a yeller. I didn't mean to. I think it all happened when the bribes and the threats (which came after the reasonable chats and the cajoling) just stopped working. He became too smart to fall for anything so I think I just began to lose it. My rational discussions -- "Doesn't it make you feel disappointed in yourself when you forget that you have a project due and now WE have to work on it until all hours of the night..." -- were certainly not working for either one of us.

So yelling happened.

I'm not saying it's a good idea for any of us. But it seems to be the outlet of choice. And at least I'm not alone. A recent New York Times story says shouting is the new spanking. We parents try to stay calm and try to be reasonable, rational and sane. And then we just can't handle our nice, normal selves and we explode.

Hopefully, our kids will survive. I come from a family of loud, yelling Italians and so to be heard, voices were always raised. I turned out relatively OK.

The funny thing is that Luke is more freaked out when I get the really scary, really quiet Mom voice. He'd rather see me yelling and pulling my hair out.