Is Yelling the New Spanking?

I remember way back in my "What to Expect..." days when Luke was just a twinkle in my eye and a huge bulge in my stomach. I swore I would never bribe or threaten, I would never yell or spank. I think I held firm on one of those promises.

We have never been spankers. But boy, have I become a yeller. I didn't mean to. I think it all happened when the bribes and the threats (which came after the reasonable chats and the cajoling) just stopped working. He became too smart to fall for anything so I think I just began to lose it. My rational discussions -- "Doesn't it make you feel disappointed in yourself when you forget that you have a project due and now WE have to work on it until all hours of the night..." -- were certainly not working for either one of us.

So yelling happened.

I'm not saying it's a good idea for any of us. But it seems to be the outlet of choice. And at least I'm not alone. A recent New York Times story says shouting is the new spanking. We parents try to stay calm and try to be reasonable, rational and sane. And then we just can't handle our nice, normal selves and we explode.

Hopefully, our kids will survive. I come from a family of loud, yelling Italians and so to be heard, voices were always raised. I turned out relatively OK.

The funny thing is that Luke is more freaked out when I get the really scary, really quiet Mom voice. He'd rather see me yelling and pulling my hair out.

The Importance of PE?

I was never a big fan of PE. I blame dodge ball in gym class. Being picked last and then being pelted by big rubber balls can ruin you for life in the pursuit of all things athletic.

Recently, a new survey found that a whopping 92 percent of parents consider physical education and health education as important as English, math and science instruction. Now, sure, I think physical activity is important and I'm all for letting kids get the occasional break from fractions and diagramming sentences (OK, they don't really do that anymore) but to put flag football in the same category as English, math and science is just silly.

However, according to the survey released by the Alliance for a Healthier Generation, that's what an overwhelming majority of parents think.

I think it's sad when recess gets taken away in elementary school, but I understand why my 6th grader doesn't have time to play in middle school. His day is so hectic and filled with learning that there's no time for it. It's unfortunate, but I get it. The way his electives worked out this year, he'll have PE once and health once. The other quarters he has computers and art. I'm good with that.

I would never, ever sacrifice a minute of math, science or English for PE or health. He can ride his bike or shoot baskets with the neighborhood kids when (and if) he has time after he finishes his homework. But the smart stuff comes first.

Are You Supposed to Do Anything In Summer?

The other day I was trying to get Luke to do something, anything, instead of just hanging out. He had spent the morning reading and playing LEGOs and was begging me to let him play on the computer. "But you haven't done anything all day!" I wailed.

"It's summer," he said. "You're not supposed to do anything."

I can't decide if he's right. In the past, I've always been the mom who gets workbooks once school is out and makes him do a couple pages a day. It takes less than 15 minutes which, by my rough math calculations, still gives him 12-14 hours to do whatever else he wants to do each day. I don't know how much it helped, but he "graduated" elementary school last month having made straight As every quarter since kindergarten.

So, we compromised. We bought a French workbook and a math riddle book. He's learning French for the first time in middle school next year so he's intrigued and the math book is fun. Other than that, I still have to coerce him into practicing one of his many instruments each day or maybe doing a difficult chore like putting away his part of the laundry or feeding the dog.

Am I mean? Is summer about doing nothing? Am I really asking him to do something?

Having a Big Kid

My son, Luke, had his last day of elementary school on Friday. Time to sound old, but wasn't it just yesterday that he was heading off to kindergarten, biting his lip as he hauled that too-big backpack up the massive steps of the school bus?

The other night after dinner out with some friends and their kids, my friend's daughter confided that girls who liked surfer boys would think Luke was very cute. I thought it was cute, yet kinda scary. Girls are looking at my little boy like that!?!

He's 11!

Every once in awhile he still puts his head on my shoulder when we're watching TV or grabs my hand when we're walking down the street so my sweet little boy is still hiding in that surfer boy somewhere.

Another Blog

I love blogging. I've been writing a blog for several years for Atlanta Magazine called "The Mommy Diaries." I'm not sure who reads it other than my friends and the occasional magazine reader who stumbles upon it while looking for a restaurant review or boutique address. But it's fun. It allows me to vent about the suburbs and education and why it's so scary to be a parent.

So what's better than one blog? Why not two. Maybe no one but my friends will read this one either, but here I can post about things besides education and families and the 'burbs. If you're reading this (hi, Mom), thanks for stopping by. Isn't technology nifty?